i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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