someone get that fucking seahorse.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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