smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
