You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
