I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
