If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
