I heard we made out
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
