in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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