she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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