Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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