My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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