why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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