oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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