ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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