I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
