so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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