maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize