Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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