Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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