Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
