I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
