im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
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I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
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I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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