if you like me you must not know who I am
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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