i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
