..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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