Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
please come you make the beer taste better
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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