Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
