just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
