Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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