i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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