I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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