I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
