i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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