ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
