so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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