drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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