Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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