he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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