I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize