I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
