I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
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I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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