Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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