Please, let me fuck your mom
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
