it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
