I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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