last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
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she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
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I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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