I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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