I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
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