peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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