Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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