I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
