Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
