So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
