If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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