just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I AM VODKA MAN
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize