Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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