every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
